…Missing Farm Life…
Eating lunch: soup, brown rice, served with rosemary and chili-garlic oil, some fries, and a nice big salad of lettuce, shredded carrot, purple cabbage, peanuts, raisins, bee pollen, apple cider vinegar and more of that garlic oil.
Felt great, ate slow, chewed thoroughly, was happy, on my own.
Finished up, cleaned my dishes, put away the food, and summoned forward my back-of-mind tickling thought about the chifles (sweet plantain chips) I knew were in the kitchen somewhere. I searched a bit and found them! Rejoice.
I really couldn’t stop.
I read the label on the bag while I ate to distract myself. I eat more that way.
I dug out and dumped in little handfuls instead of munching on singles. It tastes better that way.
I saw the (little) bag was almost empty so returned it and worked HARD to over-ride my resistant inner voice: I pulled out the bag of (d)oritos and munched away until I didn’t need them anymore.
I changed from calm Reuben, slow Reuben, clear-minded Reuben, content Reuben, to clouded-vision Reuben, hungry-for-extra Reuben, inner turmoil Reuben, and the Reuben that ignores his own wisdom, ignores his convictions about health, about the environment, about justice, and I fed the deep, deep lust.
Wanted to share my experience of how I lost control. Ever notice this?